iPoor Sales to Surpass iPhone by 27%

A piece of technology like the iPoor, no matter how revolutionary, can never be a guaranteed overnight success–or can it?

iPoor Ltd.’s official industry expert, Dr. P. André Grahnd (a resident of Pear Street, like myself), has just released some startling information regarding our estimated impact in the world of communications. Using his years of experience in the mobile technology industry (he has owned “several” cellular phones since 2001) and drawing from the data collected in our test groups and market research, Dr. Grahnd has been able to project our sales over a six-month period, beginning on iPoor’s Launch Day (July 29th). Graph A(i) below clearly identifies the success we should expect:

IPOOR’S SIX MONTH SALES FORECAST

Graph A(i) - empirical proof of iPoor pwnage

One can obviously see the immediate slow and steady growth in sales out of the gate. As we move into the late fall we leap into the benchmark 1 million mark. Following that we skyrocket–sales at this point are so astronomical that Dr. Grahnd has inferred this may create a hole in the fabric of space, moving us backward through time (we are still awaiting for statistical evidence to support this claim). Eventually, sales will settle somewhere close to infinity–which Dr. Grahnd assures us is a “very good big number”.

Using this data, and coupling it with the previous quarter’s info regarding the iPhone and the Phune (piece of crap)–Dr. Grahnd was able to extrapolate the following, in Graph A(ii)

iPhone vs iPoor vs the Phune

Graph A(ii) [more empirical proof of iPoor’s pwnage]

The iPhone and the Phune have established themselves in the weeks following their release. However, when faced with the behemoth that is the iPoor post July 29th, both weaker competitor phones falter. The iPhone will continue to sell through the summer, eventually plateauing in the fall.

Consumers who purchased the iPhone and the Phune will become so enraged when witnessing the far superior iPoor that they will return or destroy their iPhone and Phune and opt for an iPoor instead.

If this is even partially accurate (which we at iPoor Ltd. can presume), one can only imagine the voyage of the iPoor through the rest of 2008!