Raisin Deter - Why I created the iPoor

Hello,

I need to address something. People keep asking me “Steve, why are you making the iPoor?” I tell them, because I’m a genius.

Inevitably, they come back with “But we’ve already got an iPhone, what do we need an iPoor for?” I answer, an iPhone doesn’t elevate you into a higher state of being–an iPoor brings you one step closer to nirvana. But I feel I need to go a little farther. I need to talk about my ‘raisin deter’, as the French say.

HERE’S WHY I CREATED THE IPOOR.

My pal Mac, the microcosm. (Using a Microsaft Phune. )

I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE THIS AGAIN.

I was strolling through downtown when I came across Mr. Mac, Beaverton’s resident homeless gentleman, panhandling on the corner. As I waited for the light, Mac approached me and asked for some change. As I started rooting through my pockets, I heard a ringing sound, and Mac pulled out a cellphone and asked me to hold on while he took a call. The worst part is–I could see what he was holding: a digusting Microsaft Phune (also known as the worst piece of technology ever created…at least by me).

This incident nagged at me all day, and over dinner, I suddenly realized why. As I was sitting there, eating my bucket of fried chicken from Captain Friendly’s, Mac was somewhere out in the city streets, without the money to provide for the basic necessities of life–but he had a cellphone. The tragedy of it all made me sick. He will never be able to afford an iPhone–he’ll be stuck with a Phune, this third-rate piece of junk he’s toting around. Mac must be a microcosm of society at large.

Then my raisin deter came out of the blue and smacked me in the face. I needed to provide a phone–not for the tie-wearing Mercedes drivers, or the t-shirt wearing skateboard riders–but for everyone in between and on the outskirts. I needed a phone for guys like Mac.

As Roshi Pepla always told me: “To be poor is to be lacking”. The iPoor is going to fill this void–it will ensure that everyone can be rich in communication.

Yes, we’ve all been lured by the sleek sexiness of the iPhone, calling to us like a half-naked siren on the beaches of Pelorum. But like those sailors of legend, we may metaphorically dash ourselves against the rocks by forking over the cash to buy one ($500).

Why pay $500 for a phone that comes equipped with a 2.0 megapixel camera, 4 GB internal flash memory, 220 kbts per second capability, and a multi-touch sensitive liquid crystal display? An iPoor possesses at least a miniscule percentile of these features, and it’s less than 10 bucks!

The first thing I’m going to do on L-Day is walk down to the corner of Watson and 5th Street, slap an iPoor into Mac’s open hand, and say “All your worries are finally over”.

Help me kick poverty in the groin: http://ipoor.org/kickpoverty/